Another Gardener's Trash

Well, I am still obsessed with bonsai. So I was doing a search for, of all things, "bougainvillea stump." I landed on someone's blog describing her brutal and merciless slaying of a huge bougainvillea stump on her property. With startling and gory detail she talked about using axes and chainsaws and trucks and fire and all other means of nasty torture.

All the while I am sitting at my desk at work muffling my cries so as not to get pink slipped. "NNNNOOOOOOOOOO" I wanted to scream out!

Wait! Let me have it!!! I will take your eyesore off your hands and coddle it and nurture it back to health as if it were my own, borne out of love and passion! We don't get bougainvilleas growing out of control here, in the land of heat-from-the-bowels-of-hell...and winters that would make an ice statue out of Satan himself. I know more Northern climes have snowdrifts as high as buildings but we have ice storms. Ice storms that prevent the very act of walking for days at a time. Unless you have some sort of sick hatred of your own hip bones, that is. If so then walk and slide your heart out! Because you WILL break a hip and no one will pity you for your folly, foolish girl!

This is a characteristic my husband deems aberrant; I want something so there MUST be a means to obtain it! Without losing my lunch money, as well. I call it resourceful. He has other words for it.

But I know, that as badly as I want a bougainvillea bonsai with a nice, fat trunk, there is some rabid woman in a sunnier place brutalizing the very thing that would quiet my yearning. If we were to meet at a gardening club meeting somewhere, we could have solved each other's problems.

Sigh...